link to year 2 project:

http://asmfa2.blogspot.com/

my videos on ArtFem.TV

3 projections

during time-based night -
the audio worked well as a three way canon.

stimulating art making

In my current project, I have been examining the idea of physical pain as a creative force and relate it to my childhood dream of becoming a classical dancer. My videos and barre drawings document the process of invoking memory. The videos deal on the one hand with rather concrete, painful memories that I associate with ballet, be it the forcing of one’s feet to stand en pointe, or the tying of one’s hair into a tight knot, fixed with pins and spray. Then there are more dream-like sequences, such as the recording of the seamless arc and dependably balanced noise of a squeaky swing. Dreams may be invoked by memories but are not controlled by facts, only by imagination – if there is a limit to imagination. The reality of every-day life catches up with scenes of a quarrel with insomnia and a car ride while listening to Heidegger’s reflection on Sein-zum-Tode (being-onto-death).

The barre drawings are traces of my feet on the studio floor. Rosin on my ballet slippers marks the steps, jumps, and tendus of my dance exercises. I photograph this evidence of my effort to demonstrate the ephemeral quality of my childhood dreams.

This method of self-analytical art making has sparked the desire to closer examine my heritage in terms of identity, cultural constructs, and the importance of historical events on a society. I started this examination years ago with my series of photographs referring to religious icons; I am planning to continue my observations; I will probe various media, considering performance and public intervention in my future process.

projection

this is the installation i envision for the traumraum revised piece: three videos being projected onto one wall, on the bottom: insomnia, above it: memory, to the side: dream

intro

2 videos/play them simultaneously

video columns

groupings of individual videos according to theme/visuals

5 barre drawings

twisting hair roots

preparing for ballet class entails getting one's hair pulled back into a very tight bun, which needs to be secured by pins and spray. my friend and collaborator melanie serves as the willing and suffering model for the procedure in this video.

my feet in agony

listen to my bones crack....

when i was trying on the pointe shoes i eventually bought, the sales woman said that young girls often complain about the discomfort of pointe shoes, that they hurt, that they don't feel like they fit. she tells them that that's what they're supposed to feel like, that dance en pointe is supposed to be painful. in the video i'm taking off and throwing away my stilettos and subsequently squeeze my feet into pointe shoes - both symbols for feminine sexuality, both associated with discomfort and women's traditional roles in society.