stimulating art making

In my current project, I have been examining the idea of physical pain as a creative force and relate it to my childhood dream of becoming a classical dancer. My videos and barre drawings document the process of invoking memory. The videos deal on the one hand with rather concrete, painful memories that I associate with ballet, be it the forcing of one’s feet to stand en pointe, or the tying of one’s hair into a tight knot, fixed with pins and spray. Then there are more dream-like sequences, such as the recording of the seamless arc and dependably balanced noise of a squeaky swing. Dreams may be invoked by memories but are not controlled by facts, only by imagination – if there is a limit to imagination. The reality of every-day life catches up with scenes of a quarrel with insomnia and a car ride while listening to Heidegger’s reflection on Sein-zum-Tode (being-onto-death).

The barre drawings are traces of my feet on the studio floor. Rosin on my ballet slippers marks the steps, jumps, and tendus of my dance exercises. I photograph this evidence of my effort to demonstrate the ephemeral quality of my childhood dreams.

This method of self-analytical art making has sparked the desire to closer examine my heritage in terms of identity, cultural constructs, and the importance of historical events on a society. I started this examination years ago with my series of photographs referring to religious icons; I am planning to continue my observations; I will probe various media, considering performance and public intervention in my future process.